I used to think I was destined for great things. There is a name for that - Delusions of Grandeur. Reality has finally sunk it. Reality sucks. Badly. Maybe it was a rocky delusion. Perhaps it came and went. I don't really know when it started. Ok, I'm lying, I know. The first time I didn't die was when it started. I was 12. Although I didn't realize it right away - it took years for that to build up.
I won't bore you with the details but a childhood illness left me fat, angry & depressed. For years I blamed my mom for not letting me die. By the time I was in my late teens I figured if I hadn't died, I must have been saved for something great. Enter car accident #1. The car was totalled and yet, not a scratch on me. Here's where I'm starting to wonder that greatness must be headed my way. Still, years go by and nothing. What the hell? College comes and goes. Nothing, but I'm having a great time so no worries. Enter car accident #2. This one's not so bad. I can let it slide as just a warning.
Graduation. Real world. Crap. This part is not fun at all but greatness must be around the corner. I can feel it. New York City is my playground. It's waiting for me to conquer it. Nope. Not so much. Enter car accident #3. This one, well, not so good. But damn angels must be flying all around me. The car is a goner. We rolled a few times - I'm all banged up, broken rib here, puncture wound there but I'm generally ok. Do you know why? I'm destined for greater things! Those angels were all over me because there's no way with all of these things happening I can still be fine. Greatness is getting closer. I can feel it! Um, where are you greatness?
I'm still waiting. It hasn't happened the way I planned and then I realized that I was waiting for great happy, wonderful, joyous things. Sure, I got greatness all right. I got great pain, great debt, great drama, great bad luck, great miserable jobs & now I bequeath myself a great big pity party. I'd have myself a big glass of wine but I'd get a great migraine.