A Cautionary Tale

I don't have a problem with getting older. Really, I don't. I just don't want to look like it. This means everything - body, face and hair. Now, the body, well that's a little harder to fix when age grabs a hold of it. Gravity is not too kind. If anyone knows of a good plastic surgeon willing to do a little pro bono work please send them my way. I know, I'll be waiting a while for that one. But in the meantime there are matters that I can take into my own hands. Or so I thought.

Where shall I start. Ah yes, the hair. For years I've had to deal with that fact that I would be going grey. When I say for years I mean that. I'm talking since I was 9. My Nana, who I got my red hair from, used to tell me that I would be completely grey by the time I was 25. I don't think she was trying to scare me. Well, maybe she was but she was only speaking from experience. She went grey by this age and figured I would too.

Thankfully she was wrong. Not to say I haven't found grey hair. Actually those little buggers are white and while I am far from completely covered I definitely have more than I would like. Especially when the sun hits them. Ok, and when you lift my hair. But they are there. I swear. I have mentioned before that I have found my exact shade of hair color in that genius of a hair master, Frederic Fekkai. Which leads me to my first cautionary tale:

Cautionary Tale #1: When you find your exact shade, make sure you always stick with your exact shade.

Ah, yes, sometimes, in desperation, we do stupid things. I did a stupid thing. Look, the grey was creeping in. Creeping in fast. I was desperate. They ran out of my exact shade. I panicked. I bought the next shade up. First of all, who the hell lets non-natural redheads buy these home kits anyway? Shouldn't there be a stipulation on the website that these are strictly for natural redheads only? Don't they know that we are the ones that need these the most? We are the ones that need to keep our natural color the way it is? We are the ones that are only trying to cover grey, not change our color for fun? But no, apparently not. So I was left no choice.

Honestly, I had no choice. It was grey or next shade up. I held off for a long time. I still couldn't bring myself to do it. Plus, I needed help and I didn't know who to ask. The box arrived in the mail. It sure was off from my exact shade. A little more copper than my auburn. I waited. And waited. The sun was shining on my grey. I mean my white. Damn. Then one day I chopped my hair off. It was an accident. It just.....happened. But hey, now that my hair was short maybe I didn't need help. Nope, still did. I couldn't take it anymore.

I was torn. Torn between my hate of grey and my hate of having to actually use color on my hair. I used to be anti-color until those damn grey hairs planted a garden on my head. It made me panic to think that I might be lying when someone would ask if this was my color but here's how I look at it - when the color washes or grows out, I'm still a redhead. True story.

I held off for a long time. I still couldn't bring myself to do it. Plus, I needed help and I didn't know who to ask. The box arrived in the mail. It sure was off from my exact shade. A little more copper than my auburn. I waited. And waited. The sun was shining on my grey. I mean my white. Damn. Then one day I chopped my hair off. It was an accident. It just.....happened.

But hey, now that my hair was short maybe I didn't need help. Nope, still did. I couldn't take it anymore. I was torn. Torn between my hate of grey and my hate of having to actually use color on my hair. I used to be anti-color until those damn grey hairs planted a garden on my head. It made me panic to think that I might be lying when someone would ask if this was my color but here's how I look at it - when the color washes or grows out, I'm still a redhead. True story.

Everyone says when you need help just ask. So I did. I asked Mike. He turned me down. That's right. He told me I didn't need his help. He said I could do it by myself. Well now, if I thought I could do it by myself I probably wouldn't have asked. Since he turned me down, I knew I was in it alone. I looked at the box. How hard could this be?

Cautionary Tale #2 - When someone asks you for help, it means they need it. Help them.

Apparently when I was doing my coverage, I missed a spot. It didn't look like I missed a spot at the time because I had my whole head covered in slime. Yes, I made sure my whole head was covered. As I did not have a second set of eyes to review my work I must have misjudged. I am now that rare breed of redhead known as two-tone. You can't find us in many places. We're a dying species. I'm a striped two-toned redhead with golden red highlights. Most are natural. Some are from Fekkai. Most importantly there is no grey.

Was is worth it? At the moment, I'm not too sure. This is what Mike had to say for himself, "Even though I said I wouldn't help you, I didn't think you'd do it when I wasn't home". Hhhmm. So, take heed of my tales. Remember to ask yourself the golden rules - Can I live with grey? (um, not so much) and Do I need help or does someone need help? (yes, Mike, if I'm asking, the answer is yes, yes and yes). Now please, move along and don't comment on the two-toned striped redhead. We can be a nasty breed when provoked.