To Wine or not to Whine

It was a perfect day. Blue skies, warm, sunny, slight breeze. Feels like a wine day. At least for us it was. For someone else it was more like a whine day.

Scene of the crime - Smokehouse Restaurant. Winery - undisclosed to protect the not so innocent. Come on McGruff, figure it out, you have the name of the restaurant. We had just sat down and were watching the wedding-in-progress to our right. To our left, a small stir seemed to be a-brewing. Sunglasses always on allow me to perfect my eavesdropping skills. Apparently a small breeze had stirred the sun shade and BAM! Or was it bam....

Did I miss the tornado that just whipped through the area and slammed the shade into her head? What the hell is going on? I need details. Where is our waiter when we need him? "The Victim" was just sitting there holding onto her head. No sound. No movement. But "friend of victim" seemed to be crying. The pain must have shot through victim and straight through to her friend. That's pretty intense. Good thing we weren't sitting too close. Oh wait, here comes our waiter.....

"We're traumatized too", I tell him, "I think we need something for free". Hey, why pass up the opportunity for some free sh*t? Ok, so he knew I was kidding. Wait, maybe I wasn't....

Management was called. Ice was brought over. An accident report was filled out. Funny thing - victim's family didn't seem too fazed. It's like they really just wanted to get their food. It was lunchtime. Maybe they're used to the drama queen.

Our waiter asked the people sitting at the table behind "the victim" if they were ok or if they had gotten hit too. I guess they thought it was funny. They must've laughed. They said they were fine since the sun shade barely touched them and it barely touched "the victim". Hhhmm, interesting. Althought not as interesting as....

The Fire Department. That's right. She called the Fire Department!

When you hear "911 what's your emergency" you can think of a woman calling from a winery saying a sun shade poked her in the eye and she needs help. I'm sure that qualifies as an emergency. Next time she should just put down the glass of Merlot.